there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
