I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
