Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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