i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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