You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
