Plan B is the new Plan A
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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