I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
