If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just had sex bonerless
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
