i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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