It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
