Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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