i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize