i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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