when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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