windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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