evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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