so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
