I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
