Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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