I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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