Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize