Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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