why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
