Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
