I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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