I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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