Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
