don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
