So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i think my mom watched the whole time
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
