guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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