No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
