Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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