I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
