My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
