dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize