So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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