If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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