so explain again why im purple
no
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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