is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
