Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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