She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
