I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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