I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
