you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
