It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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