How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
