Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Someone signed my nipple.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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