one two three fourrrrnication!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
