4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize