i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i came on her dog
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
