yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So here I am, sexting at work.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
