cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
