If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
