32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
