To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
