I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize