She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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