TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
